Task of the Day? Employment Termination

Trump made it look easy on “The Apprentice”. I assure you it is one of the most difficult & mentally demanding tasks you will, at some point of your professional career (regardless of the industry or field) have to undertake in a management position (unless you work at one of those traditional Japanese companies that apparently never let anyone go). So far at Mission Centenarian, I’ve had to do the deed just once. I’ll never forget* that day.

The recession has led millions of people around to lose their jobs either due to cost cutting measures or lack of demand. In an attempt to make the daunting task a little less complex, I’ve gathered advice & tips from senior management & HR executives at some of Pakistan’s leading companies to help those who are handed the task of delivering the blow.

Remember to get to the point quickly and concisely. Make sure your facial expressions & body language reflect what you are saying. This is critical; you don’t want an employee thinking you were threatening to fire him or that your speech was a warning. This happened with me once at Mission Centenarian. Remember to speak naturally without needing external help – this is because the employee is bound to speak up & that can change the tables & your game plan entirely. So stick to the message, be clear and adapt to the flow of the conversation without losing it. This means tapping into empathy when required, the listener needs to know you empathize so take their anger in an understanding manner.

During my time at the HR department of GlaxoSmithKline, I noticed “the fired” had no reservations about expressing how distraught they were. Just listen, it’ll be over soon. A great way to diffuse the anger is by telling them their strengths & pointing out instances that ascertain the employee was a valuable asset to the company. I also witnessed the other end; how an executive dealt with firing a large group of people – he would recuperate between individual sessions by talking to a considerate friend or family member over the phone.

I’d like to end this piece by hoping that this kind of advice will be needed less.

*and I wish I could :-)

Customer Loyalty in Pakistan

Is there a company that provides such an exceptional product or service that you never go bargain hunting & proclaim brand loyalty across social networks? Are you loyalty to the same brands as you were a decade ago? My guess is, no.

My time at Mission Centenarian has taught me that it's better to sell a program or idea to existing customers than to convert them from the competition. Given recent trends, I’m starting to have more faith in that theory. This is because consumers are becoming smarter & subsequently more demanding than before and earning their loyalty gets more difficult every day. The internet has primarily contributed to the customer’s immediate knowledge on faulty products and general complaints; sites like BoltaConsumer.com in Pakistan provide such a platform.

Brand loyalty used to be based around a good product or service that sold at a relatively fair price coupled with persuasive advertising to relate to customers. The concept of rewarding frequent customers with miles, cash back, credit facilities, special rewards or VIP treatment only adds to the eagerness to remain stay as incomparable customer service and loyalty programs win us over.

As much as all that seems important, today it’s less. RBS awards its credit card user points that can be redeemed at restaurants, clothing & bookstores. This feature is more memorable as some customers are unaware of it and are likely to remember it once they see the receipt or the cashier informs them of the discount received. Companies need to ascertain that their value proposition continues to charm a more cost-conscious population. If you're dissatisfied with your Telco service, you can easily switch (without changing your number) and choose from a number of providers. Industries like--like autos, diversified investments & home appliances--built their models on the consolidation of products, services and information. They use hidden profit margins to fund exceptional service & loyalty schemes, but now consumers are disregarding & taking them apart. Companies that funded loyalty with hidden prices & after sales service have to change.

So what should we do? Just two suggestions.

First, acknowledge the dissemination of information. Any insurance or car salesman will regale you with an anecdote of losing a customer because they found the same package or car for less on the internet. The loss in power of knowledge needs to be accepted. The customer of today has the ability to split his car buying into information, search and purchase.

Maybe you used to carry a 15% premium to generic brands & services, but today generics are better & ingredients are on the package for every consumer to see and compare. No doubt the low literacy rate can help you, but smarter customers are great for weighable feedback. Make you’re your marketing and loyalty programs are above par if your value proposition is weak or non existent. Aside from that, all that matters is our reputation, which wont last long. Now is the time to choose, either compete as a mere commodity or create your value proposition now.
Second, try to incorporate loyalty along the consumer experience. Remember that loyalty is the combination of all of your consumer-facing efforts. Are your physical and digital spaces coordinated? Does the customer know the extra value you provide to justify premium pricing? Are policies focused on the customer or profit maximization?

The last 5 times I have availed Smart Cab for travelling to the airport, the driver came late, making excuses that he is new to the company & doesn’t know the city. The last 3 times this happened, time was wasted refueling the car. You might be wondering, why it is that I keep going back. Is it the name? Please. Is it the drivers attempt at conversation? There is none, I’m a very quiet person. It’s because the time gap between each purchase is wide and I assume that my last complaint had been considered. Let’s just say, if they have a “Points Scheme”, I won’t work hard for it.

For the sake of your business, you should ask yourself why it is that customers choose you & analyze your segmentation schemes. Are you still categorizing customers into "newly acquired," "recurring" and "has-been"? This classification is redundant in today’s extensively-segmented world. You may need a new approach in understanding customer behavior, calculating marketing share & customer retention.

If your methods are reaping rewards, go on the offensive, but if you are not, prepare yourself from an assault by the competition & don’t take your time in figuring out your value proposition problem and focus on fixing it as fast as possible.

The lesson I learned years ago at Mission Centenarian is still true today. Keeping a customer is easier than acquiring one. It’s just getting a lot harder to do.

"Save The Future", Volume One; An Introduction to Cutting your Water Usage

In 2008, the United Nations Children's Fund announced that in order to survive, we need about five gallons of clean water a day.

1st world countries can easily use 400 gallons per household, per day—two to three times as much water as other developing nations. Much of our waste comes from unsustainable planning and policies, and a deep sense of entitlement:
we want what we want, how, when & where we want it, without a thought who else gets affected by our choices, the selfish race we are.

Civilization chooses to grow crops and build cities on former deserts that require irrigation, which means diverting water from streams and rivers. And that corn-based ethanol requires approximately 1,700 gallons of water for every gallon of fuel produced. Which means that even our great green gas isn’t water-efficient. Not that we have much awareness on that in the 1st place.

Sure the government and MNC's have a role to play, but lets band together and be mature enough to look within. We abuse as much as anyone does - which is why we also have the energy crisis. We live in bigger houses than wealthier nations, drive bigger cars, have more clothes that need frequent washing in water-guzzling machines, and we pitch too many things into the trash instead of fixing them. All of this uses lots of water and electricity

So while the backward-uneducated class & the corrupted extremists looks optimistically to the current administration for cues and we can’t hire a lobbyist to rewrite Pakistan's water policy.

What we can do is make some important choices. All it takes is a little bit of thought.

I realize that the idea of halving your water use might deter too many of you. If you want to go crazy, I applaud you (and please let me know how it goes). If you want to start with baby steps, see what you can do about getting it down to 75. Once you realize how easy that can be, add on some other steps.

To help guide the change towards responsible decisions, here are some explanations of how we’re unknowingly taking up too much water and tips that might force you to alter your daily rituals, without reverting to the stoneage. Good luck!

Toilet: 3.5 to 6 gallons per flush for a conventional toilet

Shower: 2.5 to 4 gallons per minute for a conventional shower head

Bath: Up to 60 gallons per bath based on standard tub size, full

Running faucet: 2 to 7 gallons per minute for a conventional faucet

Washing your Car: 5 to 10 gallons per minute for a running hose



Water flow depends on your water pressure.
These numbers reflect conventional water use and conventional tub and sink sizes, on average, without aerators, low-flow attachments, etc.

*To be Continued*

They're coming for You ...

I guess it’s finally here …

Yesterday, my friend Nadir & I went to Goaish – an adventure park in Karachi, which has assortments of activities and games you could find on Fear Factor sans eating bugs.
Now the last time I went there, it was a Sunday, but not much of a turnout.
Yesterday however was a completely different story all together. I got talking with the uncles on the jungle circuit with me and it turns out a lot of people have been laid of – office based employees, not manual labor.
First of all, Bravo for not tearing up the city, wreaking destruction on public and private property. Bravo for being so proactive to see the silver lining in the situation – going out and doing something meant for teens … I think we can learn something from this …There’s loads of fun things to do in the city to make up for time not spent working and I’d be more than happy to guide you, O, jobless wonder.

Understand this, You’re not alone. 2009 was the year of layoffs for loads of people ( I don’t have the exact figures on me ).An article I read a while back on Forbes did say that the unemployment rate could reach 10 percent or more by the end of the year—the highest since the 1980s. As al recessions, this will pass.

You need to come to terms with the fact that while its fan FRICKIN tastic that you’re out there looking for work, We both know, you’re not doing it 9-5 SO, you get a load of time to spare, and that means….

Give Back
Sometimes your heart tells you: All that Zakat isn’t enough, helping others by contributing your time IS true charity. Edhi Foundation, TCF, Zindagi Trust, AKU & many others welcome volunteers. If you just want to play, then be a big brother or sister to the children at Dar-ul-Sukoon

Acquire new Skills
Take all the certificate courses at Indus Valley – they have yoga, acting, painting, sculpting …you name it, they’re very artsy.ActOne, BodyBeats and Off-street Workshop offer dance classes of various styles. Studio X has high intensity yoga and Pilates. NAPA teaches music, choreography and film making. ARENA multimedia has classes in graphic design ( if you’re in an interview, you can bring up the courses you’ve done and appear productive and cost saving).

Amuse yourself
Eat out, Listen to every artist, and attend every concert. Log on to www.karachisnob.com to get details on fun activities in our city.

Tax the Silent Killer

From The Wall Street Journal:

“The Center for Science in the Public Interest, a Washington-based watchdog group that pressures food companies to make healthier products, plans to propose a federal excise tax on soft drink, certain fruit drinks, energy drinks, sports drinks and ready-to-drink teas. It would not include most diet beverages. Excise taxes are levied on goods and manufacturers typically pass them on to consumers.”

What do you think?

The US Senate is taking into consideration diverse ways to pay for a health care system overhaul. As I mentioned in my last post about the positive reinforcement insurance regime in Safeway, this could be another method of curbing health problems like obesity and allow the system to focus on people with actual problems. (I was once obese and have fought it, so I don’t consider it a legit disease or illness).The proposed option is to start taxing things that are contributing to health problems (cigarettes please) and soft drinks are in the cross-hairs.

The idea is that a new tax would discourage people from consuming soft drinks, and thereby contribute to a healthier America; all while raising new revenue to improve health care, one of Obama’s major promises. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that adding a $.03 tax to every can of soft drink would generate $24 billion over the next four years. It’s a relatively small amount, but it’s a start.

There exists an argument against this - much like the uproar that was created over the high tax on SMS in Pakistan - because lower-income Americans drink more soft drink and so the tax is unreasonable. But that argument only works if they don’t have alternatives. In fact, people in every income bracket have access to tap water, which also happens to be both freer and healthier than soft drink. Mix it up with lime for flavor :-D

Would you support a soft drink tax?

“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son” – Animal House.

And is there something to be lost its just...well..There’s nothing to lose but type 2 diabetes. They also need to subsidize healthier foods. Essentially, anything in the fresh grocery section should get a subsidy and everything that’s in a cardboard box with preservatives somewhere else in the store should get a tax.The obesity epidemic can be tied to the extra 200 more calories a day than people drank during the 1970 - the average can of soda runs at 200 calories. So it is a no brainer to put a tax towards all those gastric bypass surgeries that people are going to demand coverage for. If it were up to me, I’d vote for a higher tax on high fructose corn syrup based beverages than those made with real sugar.On a side noteEveryone knows now that soda is bad and full of sugar and you shouldn’t drink it. So you just drink diet soda.

Hey, sucker, it's JUST AS BAD.

And it’s not just the cancer part. Drinking one soda (even diet) a day gives you a 44 percent chance of developing: “high blood pressure, elevated levels of the blood fats called triglycerides, low levels of the artery-protecting HDL cholesterol, high fasting blood sugar levels and excessive waist circumference.” Mmmm, early Death.


“Stop behaving like idiots, start thinking” – Zaid Hamid

Sources:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124208505896608647.html
http://www.katc.com/Global/story.asp?S=6828158&nav=menu209_21

Here's an Idea. Good things should happen to Good People

Frequently mentioned on talk shows and special reports in Pakistan (not to mention colleges and universities around the country) is the lack of availability of healthcare for the poor. And I mean Good Healthcare – the sort that actually works and you know, cures you. I guess it’s our reputation that holds the masses back from getting health insurance approved since they scam others at every chance they get. I’m not pulling facts out of thin air, I know this is true. I once worked in the HR Department of a MNC pharmaceutical where we’d get frequent calls on alleged illnesses that suddenly manifested themselves. The hospitals in question were only accepting payments in cash. Or so they said. Not to appear like I’m generalizing but this really does happen way too often especially in Car Insurance – and my source is an executive in EFU, who shall go unnamed.The solution would be to have the government handle this since the PPP believe they’re goddesses of infinite power and wisdom. Realistically, this can’t happen.
Facing that predicament, lots of people (on talk shows) are talking (which is all they ever do) about how to reduce our health care costs. I read an article 2 weeks ago on the Wall Street Journal, written by the CEO of Safeway, Mr. Burd. Using an innovative new system that correlates employee behavior with insurance premiums, they have kept their costs FLAT over the last four years, despite the national average for companies increasing by 38 percent. It’s something I plan on introducing at Élan Guides, where I work.
How does it work? Simple, use your brain. Exercise, eat small portions and be healthy. Pay less. Like car insurance, the amount you pay goes up if you do bad things. Get a speeding ticket; your car insurance goes up. Start smoking or snacking too often, your Safeway health insurance costs go up. They realized that nearly all their health care costs were from cardiovascular disease, cancer, diabetes & obesity and that these diseases can be easily mitigated or even prevented by simple changes in lifestyle. The healthier you are, the less you pay, and your health is the sole determinant in your premium costs. This is in stark contrast to how most health insurance works, where everyone pays the same amount, and if you are a fat smoker with bad cholesterol and go to the hospital 20 times a year, the healthy non-smoker who gets into a freak accident and has to go to the hospital for the first time in 10 years has to subsidize the costs of all your visits. As an Altruist, I say, that’s not fair. (Obese people annoy me)
This is also a perfect free-market approach to getting Pakistani’s healthier. Like the police. My GOD, they are the real fatties. I always wonder how they’d chase someone. They don’t, which explain everything.Fitting into an old pair of jeans might be motivation for some, but getting more money in your wallet while torching fat (preferably through HIT) would probably motivate ALOT more people.

Source: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124476804026308603.html

Would you like a Killer Heart? Literally.

I think that in cases where an inmate should be executed for being too selfish to care about the lives they destroyed, their vital organs should be ripped from their bodies and given to those that really need it and are not a threat to society. This would be the more humane thing to do on the one hand because there are countless incidents of failed executions and personally a quick death is definately the way to go. Human Rights activists would agree that its just cruel to:

a. leave a man half electrocuted (load shedding Zindabad )
b. wait a solid 2 minutes before the rope gives in and the man dies slowly ( gallows )
c. endure long gassings
d. be hit by a semi blunt knife till the head comes off

For those who say, "hey, take the organs after they're dead", I say...riiight. you see, by hanging or poisoning a man, you are doing the same to the organs which dont stand a chance once the process has started. They Die Out.

Now I know in developing nations like Pakistan, its likely that the inmates who are considered without rights are forced to give their kidneys or livers in some way, but as I dont have concrete facts before me, I cannot comment any further.

Consider the loss when the organs are not utilised:
Someone died waiting for that criminals' heart.
Two died waiting for his kidneys
Two more suffocated for lack of his lungs.
Burns victims could have been treated with the skin.
The liver, split two ways, could have saved two babies.
The inmate could allow nearly a dozen people to live, in exchange for a body he wouldn’t be around to enjoy anyway. The math says we should encourage death-row organ donation. This is capitalism, the essence of which, frickin utilise your resources.

An obscure thing Ethics says we cannot simply murder criminals, even WITH their consent. No Doctor likes to live with the fact that they tortured a man before his death. Even if he really, Really, REALLY deserved it.

3rd March 2009

As mentioned before, this was supposed to be Square Root Day, but the retarded war mongers that our leaders are, decided lets ruin this day for everyone by attacking the last people on earth muslims or Pakistanis (unless you're a die-hard cricket fan well aware that our team sucks soo bad its too late to help them) could consider enemies thereby once again proving that YES INDEEDIO; things Can get worse.

In other news, some guy named Mikhail Borisovich Khodorkovsky (MBK) is going to be tried for financial crimes, im just waiting for the bankers & brokers of the West (yes you infidels, I said West) to be prosecuted aswell for effectively (insert your preferred expletitive) the economies of the world. I dont see that big of a hit in Pakistan which is obviously because we have what, 1% o the population that deals on credit, while in developed nations that number is for the privelaged with cash.

Apparently Nick SarKozy got a load of death threats - as I dont live in France, im not about to speculate without facts (a tactic on the O Reily factor) about Why that is the case.

Cheers,

Babar KJ

Thats right, you cheated death

While the world watches wars, elections, assassinations, bailouts, stock drops and celebrity scandals in awe, we all failed to ask ourselves: What did I do of significance today? How Have I made a Difference? When will I make my Mark? Who is my one & only?

Well, lucky you for procrastinating yet again because we have yet again survived the apoc.
Turns out on the 2nd March, an asteroid nearly hit us. Its expected to make a round trip by 2029.
Now you may be upset at not being informed well ahead but know this:
Astrologers discovered it on Friday.
Had it slammed down onto the Earth, it would have exploded with the force of a large nuclear blast somewhere in the Pacific Ocean west of Tahiti.

It missed us at 8:44 EST on the 2nd March.

Quit lazing around and SIEZE YOUR LIFE!

Cheers,

Babar KJ

Square Root Day

Turns out theres a day to celebrate the squares of your roots. Seriously:

http://www.pantagraph.com/articles/2009/03/02/wtf/doc49ac9848212a9432970656.txt

so 3rd March 2009 was the 1st one Im aware of, 4th April 2016 will be the next Im less likely to care about and by the time 5th Mary 2025 rolls around, I'll be too busy obsessing over the prospect of turning 40.

Apparently Maths buffs (a group of people I will fail to understand TIME & TIME AGAIN) enjoy this rare event. I really dont see what the big deal is. For me, the closest I get excited about some random date is if its the 8th August 2008 or 9th September 2009 ... only because, as a student, a can secretly grin to myself that I know the dates' 8/8/8 or 9/9/9.
Course, I Have to be on Crazy Mode.

Cheers,

Babar KJ

Oh so you're awake now? Well done! Find more ways to waste Time.

(This was originally written 10th Jan'09, on Facebook after way too many aquaintances & colleagues insisted that a join groups to show support for the plight of the Palestinians. As of today, all the promises/drives/campaigns/charity collection of caring for them have ended completely, not just in my university but the whole nation - that I'm aware of - im not about to assume "I know everything")
[For the record, i think its great that people become Aware of whats going on outisde of their comfort zones, but when they pretend to be a part of a cause just because its fashionable or will make them look noble, that just Grinds my Gears - seriously, at this point NO ONE mentions Gaza or FATA simply because its not "in"].

The Post:

Howdy hypocrites.

What exactly do you plan on achieving by condemning the attacks on Gaza? Oh you’ll boycott the products will you?

(a) Why didn’t you boycott the iPod when USA invaded Afghanistan and Iraq, killing scores of innocents?

(b) And how long did the “ban” on Danish products last when the pictures of Prophet Muhammed were published?

A week?

2?

You really think you have the discipline to boycott the products listed in the community

***List of Israeli Products to Boycott THEM***

While you’re on this path on talking and “showing” support, I advise you to join the student community called Model United Nations, where you will meet other intellectuals like yourself who Love to talk and take no action. You can also join groups such as

"Citizens against War"

"Support Rally against Israel"to show your “support”.

Here’s an idea, approach an NGO or a reputed MNC, get them to collect donation/supplies and actually help. Israel has been an enemy of Palestine and Muslims in general for decades. This siege on Palestine has been ongoing since before the 9/11 attacks. So if you really care oh so much, try to boycott the products for that long.

I’m sure Israeli’s have shares or stake in Pepsi, Microsoft, Samsung, IBM, Lenovo, Toyota, Honda, Nike, Intel etc … lets ban them too.

And the fundamentalist’s mentality is in truth that if they’re making money off that, it means they’re paying taxes. If they’re paying taxes, that means they’re funding the military. If they’re funding the military, it means they’re funding the slaughter.

so, If you REALLY want to hurt Israel and the Enemies of Islam, ban them FOREVER and not every time they attack us. Personally I believe prevention is better than cure, but if you insist on helping out only after people start dying, that’s your messed up mentality.

And given the current “progress” on the war, let’s just say they back off. Will the boycott continue? Let’s face it; the world needs an excuse to bomb Muslim nations that can’t defend themselves. You stop boycotting them after the Israel siege ends, you go back to funding them, and they come back at you HARDER FASTER STRONGER.

Fast Fact: Israeli’s have a huge stake in the major companies of the world. You have to give up a complete standard of living to boycott them. Good Luck with that by the way.I don’t posses 2nd sight or Precognition, but this is what Just might happen.

1. No one who has the capacity, brain power or resources to actually make a difference will last in this “cause” for more than a year.

2. Israel will not be affected either way, they have a huge market and their strategies outstrip us any day.

On a side note, I know extremist retarded thinking and actions is like second nature to the majority of the population, and some of you have a say in what should of shouldn’t be done … so spread the concept of Peace.

And try to be civilized and refrain from bombing or destroying anything, to be heard or prove a point. Unless of course, you want to add-on reasons to the Republicans (ever growing) list of

“Why Pakistan Should be Nuked 10 Times”.

Importance of Elections in Pakistan

(Orginally written on the 23rd November 2008 - deleted by the Establishment)

Elections in Pakistan- RIGGED yet again.

And this will go on for as long as things go on.

But they Are of Great Importance to some. For me the elections are as important as that red light at 3am or Anything you significant other says while you watch UFC. GEO has uncovered evidence to prove how it was staged, not to mention pointing out that from now on, over one million pounds will be spent on Bilawal Bhutto's security.
Sure dont spend that money on the People [health, education, womens rights/empowerment] you hypocrites!
Spend it on someone useless, who doesnt need protection and who wont be of much use to the country for , oh i dunnno the next 25 years. Unless ofcourse PPP are trying to tell us that a fresh University graduate (with a bachelors in History) has what it takes to run a country [thats going downhill....you are handbrakes my friends..]

hey what do I know? Im just Enlightened with COMMON SENSE.

Obama all the way :-)

Cheers,

Babar KJ

If you cant do or be anything useful in life, atleast be Fair

Alot of people are blaming Israeli's for this war.This is exactly like the world blaming all muslims for the action of a few in 9/11.Do not blame Israeli's they're not all alike. Israeli's are human beings, so are jews. You cannot generalise them yet insist that they cannot assume we are terrorists being Pakistani/Arab or Muslim. It is irrational and unfair. So please stop the name calling. Vent your anger and comments against the Israeli army & government. The people of Israel condemn the attacks just as much as you have, if you dont believe me, watch the news or read their newspapers [opinion columns]. Do not paint slogans insulting JEWS or Israelis. be precise If you plan on resorting to the cowardly tactic of Name-calling.

Cheers,

Babar KJ